i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
should my penis look like a turkey
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
