if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
