I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
