You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
