Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
