Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
