friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
