It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Is her dick bigger than yours?