Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize