He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
worst night to have a conscience
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
