can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
