Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
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