Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
