I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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