Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.