Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
