another moral hangover. fuck.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
