kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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