Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
