he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
