I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
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