As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
