We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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