He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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