brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
