I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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