Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
