Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
