you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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