She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
