Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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