At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
do herpes really smell.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
