Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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