She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
