Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
