Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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