i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
