PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
