There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
