Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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