I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
