So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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