I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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