You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
