hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Randomize