Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize