The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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