My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
