so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
