My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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