ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
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WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
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There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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