Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
