next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
