everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
