I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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