pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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