it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
