this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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