I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You are the jesus of drinking
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
