I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
