Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
