Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
