He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
