and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
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To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
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A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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