I am puke
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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