All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
