It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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